1. |
where i've been
05:02
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i’ve seen the place i should go
but there’s too many tears by the side of the road
their smiles are to humble
too fragile to stumble
inside and impose on my dreaming tonight
it’s where i’ve been
where i’ve been
and i ain’t never going there again
where i’ve been
where i’ve been
and i ain’t never going there again
living on powdered time
when i cut my next line
will my mind sever the thread of my life
giving birth to a new song of woven confusion
with stitches so fine that they hide
the scarred rhyme
it’s where i’ve been
where i’ve been
and i ain’t never going there again
where i’ve been
where i’ve been
and i ain’t never going there again
i’ve been dancing on lakes
(catching up with past-times)
exchanging tales with a man that i hate
(i’ll try to explain my life)
talked of love with a woman who cared
(and of the broken trust there)
around every corner i look for her where
i have been
and i ain’t never going there again
i’ve been to the place in my soul
where there’s too much fear
and too many lies told
the future’s in trouble
it’s beginning to crumble into dust of the past
to dust of the past
to dust of the past
to dust of the past
to dust of the past
the dust will have the last laugh
it’s where i’ve been
where i’ve been
and i ain’t never going there again
where i’ve been
where i’ve been
and i ain’t never going there again
to dust of the past
to dust of the past
to dust of the past
will the dust have the last laugh
no
© tim o’connor 2007
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2. |
hole in my pocket
03:30
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i was looking for a solitude to ease my broken pride
i never thought that i would meet
someone who’d take the time to find the truth
i’ve got a hole in my pocket
that reminds me of you
you’re a crazy mixed up singer
who’s still looking for her song
you’ve got all the hooks
they’re razor bright
it won’t take you too long before you do
i’ve got a hole in my pocket
that reminds me of you
well its a strange history
if we make it we can’t lose
no mystery
don’t know who is what
but i know who you are and i’ll use it to prove
i’ve got a hole in my pocket
that reminds me of you
my messed up mind is reeling
i don’t know how i’ve survived
i will never be the same me
since you did those special things you like to do
i’ve got a hole in my pocket
that reminds me of you
well its a strange history
if we make it we can’t lose
no mystery
don’t know who is what
but i know who you are and i’ll use it to prove
i’ve got a hole in my pocket
that reminds me of
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3. |
rat song
03:47
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the rats come running
and the rats are singing
and they’re all grinning
‘cause the rats are winning
‘cause nobody here
gives a damn about neighbourhood life
they are learning to fly
and beginning to find
the right kind of diet to improve their minds
‘cause the rats are going to survive
neighbourhood life
they’ve been looking at the sky at night
and wondering where they all came from
a thousand billion shining eyes
are waiting in the dark
it won’t be long now ‘til we feel their teeth
‘cause the rats in the attic are beginning to dream
the rats are laughing at their own surprise
for the vulnerability of neighbourhood life
they’ve been looking at the sky at night
and wondering where they all came from
so now they are standing just out of sight
waiting for their new day to dawn
a thousand billion shining eyes
are waiting in the dark
the rats are coming
and the rats are running
the rats are coming
and the rats are singing
the rats are coming
and they’re all grinning
the rats are coming ‘
cause the rats are winning
the rats are coming
the rats are coming
‘cause nobody here
gives a damn
about neighbourhood life
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4. |
my beautiful self
04:33
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i’ve got brand new laces in my shoes
i’ll walk a thousand paces and not turn back to you
i’ve got brand new laces tied up tight
i’ll walk a thousand paces and be swallowed by the night
i have fading echoes in my head
of your helpless confusion at the vicious words i said
i have fading echoes in my mind
of your helpless confusion just before you cried
no no
and i can’t say i’m sorry about what happened here today
i can’t believe you’d expect me to react any other way
and it may just be i’m beyond anyone’s help
‘cause i won’t be anybody but myself
my fragile self
my vulnerable self
my insufferable self
my beautiful self
my beautiful self
and i can’t say i’m sorry about what happened here today
i can’t believe you’d expect me to react any other way
and it may just be i’m beyond anyone’s help
‘cause i won’t be anybody but myself
my fragile self
my vulnerable self
my insufferable self
my beautiful self
my beautiful self
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5. |
i'm happy
03:46
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i don’t need another agony aunt
judging my life for pieces of silver
i don’t want to hear a passionless rant
trying to convert me into a believer
‘cause i’m happy not knowing
what the span of my life might be
and i’m happy not knowing
the reason why i’m here
i don’t want any forgiveness from you
peddling guilt and selling salvation
and i won’t go on any mystical trip
i don’t really care what nivarna tastes of
‘cause i’m happy not knowing
what the span of my life might be
and i’m happy not knowing
the reason why i’m here
yes i’m happy not knowing how it all began
i’m so happy not knowing
if it’s all going to happen all over again
i don’t want another day like today
wasting my time and making excuses
i don’t want to feel alone and afraid
losing my mind in too many choices
‘cause i’m happy not knowing
what the span of my life might be
and i’m happy not knowing
the reason why i’m here
yes i’m happy not knowing
what the span of my life might be
and i’m happy not knowing
the reason why i’m here
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6. |
time pt2
03:29
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you got deep brown eyes
a cold black heart
you sing just like an angel
but you damned it from the start
you took apart the dream we could have held
you took apart the dream we could have held
you tore it into tiny pieces
carried it away like plunder
slipping the trail of slime you left
into the shadows under
the hell hole of your mind
while the hope you had of carrying your laughter
lays stricken left behind
as you run away from life into opiated lies
your running out on time
your running out on time
your running out on time
you got deep brown eyes
a cold black heart
you sing just like an angel
but you damned it from the start
you took apart the dream we could have held
you took apart the dream we could have held
you stole from promises unspoken
ripped to wound without emotion
it was not hope that brushed close here
but the excitement gushing out
was black as night and cold like ice
and the feeling if you have one is of fear
you have retreated
falling backwards through time
you’ve lost the little you had left
you were stealing from yourself
you are crippled inside
you lost hold of the light
you lost hold of the light
you got deep brown eyes
a cold black heart
you sing just like an angel
but you damned it from the start
you took apart the dream we could have held
you took apart the dream we could have held
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7. |
pearls
04:46
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he looks like a man playing a ghost guitar
singing songs of whispers
using words he’s never learned
he is telling stories of a life lived from afar
the memories of pain are his
but the hope is something shared
his life is of a man who has forgotten how to die
or even how he got there
or how he’s worn his face
he’ll describe the child who read danger written up high
without turning to see where the real danger lay
and it’s a long, hard lesson we learn
and it’s a long, hard depression that burns
and it’s a long, hard confusion we earn
and it’s a long, hard existence that turns into pearls
our lives are pearls
just pearls
our lives are pearls
he sounds like a man who’s been listening to himself
when nobody else cares
to speak of what they’ve seen
a man scavenging the discards and misspent
where luck chances
and fate dares him to rebuild an identity
and it’s a long, hard lesson we learn
and it’s a long, hard depression that burns
and it’s a long, hard confusion we earn
and it’s a long, hard existence that turns into pearls
our lives are pearls
just pearls
our lives are pearls
a darkness gathers ‘round him as he plays
it echoes those desolation days
their ill-winds tear into him like a flag unfurled
but the he finds the centre of his song
in the eye of this unforgiving storm
and shines like a pearl
and it’s a long, hard lesson we learn
and it’s a long, hard depression that burns
and it’s a long, hard confusion we earn
and it’s a long, hard existence that turns into pearls
our lives are pearls
just pearls
our lives are pearls
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8. |
pornography
04:50
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party all day and into the night
baby can you keep it up
it is not hard to feel it’s hot
harder to party long enough
taking all the money
and giving what she got for free
don’t you think it’s funny honey
baby it’s pornography
pornography
lickety splitly ever so quickly
making the moment right on queue
squeezing the last drop
giving all you got
smile for the panters watching you
taking all the money
and giving what she got for free
don’t you think it’s funny honey
baby it’s pornography
pornography
taking all the money
and giving what she got for free
don’t you think it’s funny honey
baby it’s pornography
pornography
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9. |
crying
03:05
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so you’re the great north american indian
well look at you with your gold tooth where your dignity should be
as if you saved your best shot ‘till last
as though you stayed one step there ahead of me
and out on the edge of my awareness
i am standing at the edge of a world
and there is no fear here of falling
and i’m not scared of crying at all
is this the face of a shadowed down nation
looking out through the shame that i brought you to wear
how in hell can i beg forgiveness for that
when i left no one real to ask there
and out on the edge of my awareness
i am standing at the edge of a world
and there is no fear here of falling
and i’m not scared of crying at all
it’s always like it, always like this
time drying tears with its years
when all it needed was a little bit
a little bit of trust
a little bit of love
it’s a wonder that we find time for crying at all
so you’re the pastiche of the american western
lost to the lies to genocidal relapse
have you forgotten the theft of your fore-fathers spirits
exhumed and re-run and re-watched ‘till they’ve cracked
and out on the edge of my awareness
i am standing at the edge of a world
and there is no fear here of falling
and i’m not scared of crying at all
i’m not scared of crying
i’m not scared of crying
i’m not scared of crying
at all
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10. |
the street
03:52
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home from a dull day to find yesterday’s laughter
climb the staircase to reach stale desires
cinderella games that go on forever
chasing places from forgotten lullabies
as you turn to face the grey oncoming dark
away into a dream of welcome arms
making love ‘till the storm blows over
on the softness of destinies wings
leave behind the town of rank waters
and though inconsequential paths of time
rest like the silence of an empty picture frame
of your life of fading stills of bygone age
in the street of a thousand gallows
the sun won’t go to paint her shadows
in the street of a thousand shadows
the men who dug their fathers seams
died as the collieries closed
the men who stood as heroes are all
coal dust legends now
braving moon-madness
racing to breathless times of night dances and rhymes
gentle senses falling through endless
spirals of warmth and empty hopeful sighs
falling away to cruel echoes with the dawn
like an acceptance speech of fools without a cause
in the street of a thousand gallows
the sun won’t go to paint her shadows
in the street of a thousand shadows
the men who dug their fathers seams
died as the collieries closed
the men who stood as heroes are all
coal dust legends now
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11. |
american boy
04:13
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your coca-loco language tells of resonant decrees
by the self-elected pontificating guardian of the free
who walks the fundamental abyss
amongst dogma bully boys
to rape children with delusion and a book of holey laws
and i don’t want to be
‘cause i don’t need it you see
and i don’t want to be
an american boy
you’re planetary privateers preaching how a sacrificial child
gives greater glory to the father with benign paedophilic smiles
you’re corrupters of our wondering distorting myth and truth
your cleansing of the spirit is a well worn
genocide’s excuse
and i don’t want to be
‘cause i don’t need it you see
and i don’t want to be
an american boy
god bless america
land of the free
god bless america’s dream
amidst the arrogant collusion of your sexless sunday rites
you pray for absolution from retaliatory strikes
you have the slickest politicians
with the biggest bloody fists who know
by ballot box or body count they’re harvesting our souls
and i don’t want to be
‘cause i don’t need it you see
and i don’t want to be
an american boy
and i don’t want to be
‘cause i don’t need it you see
and i don’t want to be
an american boy
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12. |
second coming
03:43
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here comes the joker walking up above the floor
he laughs like a messiah
testing belief against the wall
stand back stand back look out
his mouth is incandescent
with unpleasant truths and judgements
for those twisting up the lessons
too busy teaching to have learned
too busy leading to have earned
too busy feeding
to have tasted cruel hunger
or the bleeding bitter anger
of the cold spurned souls you burn
the second coming’s going to hurt
put up your hand if you mistook mary for a virgin
she was just a young girl
barely no more than a child then
so he’ll come to show the hoaxers
his tomb of hebrew words
‘cause their translations came freely
as sleepy fictions, maybe worse
too busy teaching to have learned
too busy leading to have earned
too busy feeding
to have tasted cruel hunger
or the bleeding bitter anger
of the cold spurned souls you burn
the second coming’s going to hurt
you lost your way chasing witches
burning healers and your bridges to salvation
while poisoning our minds
you have become what you can’t suffer to be near
all those things that we should fear
are embodied in your verse
oh god
the second coming’s going to hurt
he’ll come magnifying reason and polarising treason
while damning up the orifice of the book of barefaced lies
to be hailed the great blasphemer
a charlatan and fraud
before cauterising malignant racketeers with love and wrath
too busy teaching to have learned
too busy leading to have earned
too busy feeding
to have tasted cruel hunger
or the bleeding bitter anger
of the cold spurned souls you burn
the second coming’s going to hurt
too busy feeding
to have tasted cruel hunger
or the bleeding bitter anger
of the cold spurned souls you burn
the second coming’s going to hurt
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cowfisH Hull, UK
Formed in Yorkshire, UK during the early nineties cowfisH have released 20 albums.
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