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narrativium

by cowfisH

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1.
beginning or an end feels like falling when you’re talking and we’ll never reach the ground there is no resistance just insistence gently turning us around don’t let the countdown start again is this beginning or an end don’t let the countdown start again is this beginning or an end feels like flying endless diving through each other’s future where face to face we have escaped embracing smiling as we dare don’t let the countdown start again is this beginning or an end don’t let the countdown start again is this beginning or an end
2.
rusting inside yellow and blue bright coloured cocktails that you use to contradict monochromed dazed dull thoughts your life is for living your way of course it’s such an intricate, delicate pain assembling pieces from shadows and dust while trembling delirium mixes it all up it’s not so funny - it’s not so funny feeling like death it’s kind of fun though knowing you’ll do it over again it’s not so funny - it’s not so funny feeling like death it’s kind of fun though knowing you’ll do it all again all over again time stops the shock of it rocks you and then tilts you horizons crisscrossing as they spill you next to the precipice edge splitting apart all the seams in your head assembling pieces from shadows and dust while trembling delirium mixes it all up poisoning choices melting your face like a hot tallowed wick blackout and tremors and uncertain fate shaking dice to begin it again begin it again it’s not so funny - it’s not so funny feeling like death it’s kind of fun though knowing you’ll do it over again it’s not so funny - it’s not so funny feeling like death it’s kind of fun though knowing you’ll do it all again all over again assembling pieces from shadows and dust while trembling delirium mixes it up rusting inside, just to survive much of our lives are spent rusting inside
3.
blues run red we know it deep in our bones just how their tyranny spreads we know how chill wind blows when the blues run red nothing changes with a price on your head nothing changes ‘til the blues run red something wicked, something cruel is rationing our daily bread hungry for power and feudal rule that’s when the blues run red nothing changes with a price on your head nothing changes ‘til the blues run red swinging on the gibbet are all the dreams of better times it only changes when you break it and are committed to the crime for the cause of the quick witted to overthrow the next crusade and from its ruin build beginnings of a better world today choose who writes the history choose who will tell the tales of vanquished and the victory of the devil or the slave (swinging on the gibbet are the dreams of better days) of vanquished and the victory of the devil or the slave the devil or the slave nothing changes with a price on your head nothing changes ‘til the blues run red
4.
one of these days living thinly on second hand stories constantly moving away subliminally gilding proving the premise truth is just something you say it’s so throwaway you smile like a stoic but inside you know it diminishing fictions can’t last historically phobic refusing rebuttals lost in a tangle of pasts forgetting how to ask one of these days you’re going to wake up and realise that I’ve been gone too long to remember my face feel an empty place sooner or later wonder what went wrong hey hey hey one of these days hey hey hey hey one of these days
5.
the great anarchy you’ve been telling yourself stories nurturing and reasonable words mandates and constitutions scarred with promises scattering like leaves you’re celebrating stagnant glory a contempt witness overheard too cowed and awed to disregard eugenicists swaggering like thieves and now the chaos in your head is leaking out and through your hands it calls to rage bursting your heart fuel that primal screams demand feel the burning in your throat invite the uprising to sing hear its serenade explode let the great anarchy begin let the great anarchy begin the great anarchy begins you’re waving tiny paper flags to cover up the cracks of realisation the house of card sharps is just a palace built of wax burn the liars light the fires you’re fabricating phantasms, repressing higher mind lest the unfettered truth expose illuminati to the blind those willing dislocated self-deludingly enshrine their own extinction unwittingly colluding in the crime burn the liars light the fires light the fire and now the chaos in your head …etc
6.
lab rat 04:48
lab rat you can’t do this and you can’t do that turn every which way and they’ll turn you right back you won’t think this and you can’t say that every dog has a day, you’re just a white lab rat you can’t turn left so you’ve got to go right where there’s no real choices ‘til you rise up and fight if you take their money, then they’ve bought your life they’ll lead you to their labyrinth of greed and spite evolution’s revolution lays bewildered and amazed unsuccessfully seeking solutions there are bread and circuses this way it’s a sad bad fact you’re just a white lab rat you won’t see the cage, too crazed and dazed by trivial rewards of dangerous bait you’ll blindly crawl in a crippling state to the only truth: live dissection waits going to cut you cut you cut out your heart evolution’s revolution lays bewildered and amazed unsuccessfully seeking solutions there are bread and circuses this way it’s a sad bad fact you’re just a white lab rat (run rat run run rat run) they’ll watch you run round and round see them come as their boots crush down poison lies from broken clowns with guileless eyes who watch you drown choose your fate don’t hesitate evolution’s revolution lays bewildered and amazed unsuccessfully seeking solutions there are bread and circuses this way evolution’s revolution lays bewildered and amazed unsuccessfully seeking solutions there are bread and circuses this way it’s a sad bad fact you’re just a white lab rat
7.
breakout 04:05
breakout living at the edge moving off grid to lose complacencies always seeking something new free from same old words keep on travelling true into open spaces break away from lies they use leave behind those frontiers wrapped up tight in broken dreams and fly across horizons go much farther than you have ever been riding questions stretching our mind’s promises devoured breakout breakout if you can’t take it change it if you can’t change escape it break out breakout let go don’t turn back echoes in your head lead you to the brink the precipice is counterfeited leave behind those frontiers …etc
8.
the first time fireflies burn briefly tracing dances in the night fleeting realisation exploding in delight as you feel it take your breath away in every way that you could choose you feel it overcoming you in waves your confessions blaze freeing you showing whose whispered truths are told in lieu leading to knowing you've kissed a future bold and new it's the first time that you're touched the first time that you're loved the first time's not enough desire and yearnings unleashed and satisfied lighting up the darkness to bejewel desert sky as you feel it take your breath away etc… it's the first time that you're touched etc… high amidst the stillness silent witnesses unseen of fire spent by morning and consummation there revealed it's the first time that you're touched etc…
9.
embers 03:54
embers it’s been twenty years since yesterday and a lot of fun’s been made the eddy and swirl of change celebrates and embers remember the heat of the flame embers remember the flame we looked outside and the sun was gone and the fire had burned down low we shook our heads laughed and tried to guess where the hours go where the hours go we closed our eyes and we saw those days of indestructible campaigns surprised, despite all the wishes we gave how much remains the same how much remains the same it’s been twenty years since yesterday and a lot of fun’s been made the eddy and swirl of change celebrates and embers remember the heat of the flame embers remember the flame in the time it took the rain to drop during the silence of a turning breath nothing is lost all the while between the moments there is wealth of recollections we forgot they’re ourselves it’s been twenty years since yesterday and a lot of fun’s been made the eddy and swirl of change celebrates and embers remember the heat of the flame embers remember the flame and embers remember the heat of the flame embers remember the flame
10.
house of clowns you’re caught stepping on the cracks of matchstick arguments and paths leading from regrets and past existential flummery and traps in the house of clowns and puppeteers in crowns burn it down to the ground burn it down to the ground you twist fingers in the pie trading integrity and lies revoking pity for the swine invoking privilege enshrined in the house of clowns and puppeteers in crowns burn it down to the ground burn it down to the ground kindle the anger and stoke up the rage remember remember how history is hurting nights of long knives and Fawkes in the cellar and fuses unlit but memory is still burning in the house of clowns and puppeteers in crowns burn it down to the ground burn it down to the ground burn it down to the ground burn it down to the ground
11.
wood for the trees every day is a picnic every day is a game the same old tricks knowing nothing’s going to change you claim you’re on your uppers and doing all you can to lead a life exemplary a real renaissance man did you lose your conscience while dancing on the shifting sands well choose a wise defence ‘cause things are getting out of hand oh why won’t you understand you’re too involved and clearly can’t conceive you’re too close too stubborn and unable it seems to believe that you won’t see the wood for the trees you sit there jesting ‘bout toxicity while jealously investing you’re anonymity in oratory gymnastics of belligerent sense your middle class mores dress in gilded ignorance while their lewd connections put the shadow of a knife in your fist abuse your thoughts ‘til they’re rotten without you even knowing it what do you know you’re too involved …etc

credits

released August 29, 2015

Uilleand Music vcbd057r August 2015

For Josh Stevenson.
Gone too soon, always remembered.

produced by toc
recorded at Bywater Studios Summer 2015
mixed and mastered at Uilleand Music July 2015
remixed & remastered @ Bywater Studios 2018

all songs written & © tim o’connor 2015
published by Maori Music PRS 159804347

cover photography by viceversa robbi

buddamask by toc
cover design by MTD

guitars used:

Oily Rhoad Telecaster
Duesenberg Starplayer TV-RW (Billy Gibbons model)
Duesenberg Starplayer TV Standard
Fender Stratocaster
Taylor Fall Ltd Edition Cocobolo GA
Rickenbacker 4003 bass

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cowfisH Hull, UK

Formed in Yorkshire, UK during the early nineties cowfisH have released 20 albums.

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